Psalm

I think that it is much easier to share your testimony or write when you are in a place of victory, where everything is from the mountaintop perspective, not from the valley.

But David wrote many of the Psalms while in the valley. Crying out to the Lord for deliverance. I wonder how quick God's responses were when David did this? Did it move the Lord? I think that it must have at times and other times it strengthened David to remember the faithfulness of God.

One of our Pastors at church spoke on Sunday about pounding Heaven in pursuit of the Lord. There is a “modern day” man that did that – actually several come to mind,  including George Muller. He pounded Heaven in petition. His prayers were for souls, for provision, for direction and confirmation and even for comfort. The Lord showed up big and many lives were changed by the effectual fervent prayer of this righteous men.

I find myself in a valley. It appears to be a great cavern in which I don't appear to have made any headway forward and but thankfully none backward either – at least that is what I perceive in the natural.

However, I know there is Spiritual growth for me. I feel it. I see it. I hear it.

But it is like the enemy is bombarding us outside with arrows of doubt, disappointment, unbelief and a passel of lies.

But GOD...He is faithful. I keep running back to His Word. I keep praying. I am learning to believe Him.

Things are not as I would like. I imagine they are much like how the men and women of the old testament felt and even those in the New Testament church. All I can do is run to Jesus. All I can do is dive into His Word and trust Him.  I don't want to be like the Israelites coming out of Egypt that complained all day.

So all I can do is pray, pray, pray. I think that is good enough. Pray Suzanne. Pray. It is all I “can” do but all I must do. All I should do.

I know the Lord is stripping things away. I'm not sure exactly why He has chosen to do it the way it is happening. When I look at the natural – I get out of focus. When I look to the Lord and His Spiritual truths – I get focused. It is just that I keep trying to put on those natural lenses. I keep trying to figure out how to pray to “fix” things. I cannot fix anything. All I can do is make sure that I am pure and real and honest before the Living God. I cannot hide anything from Him and why would I want to try and hide something.

I've made quite a few messes in the past trying to go my own way and trying to "fix" what I perceive as broken.  I know and I BELIEVE that I am exactly where the Lord needs me to be - seeking Him.  Seeking His face.  If My people who are called by My name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I, The God of Heaven, will hear their prayers, I will forgive their sins and heal their land 2 Chronicles 7:14

He is God!!  He is FAITHFUL!!  I cry out to Him for He tells me to call out and He will answer.

The Lord looks down from heaven on the sons of men to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God.  Ps 14:2

Serve the Lord with fear and rejoice with trembling...Blessed are all who take refuge in Him.  Ps 2:10, 12c

The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.  He is my shield and the horn of my salvation my stronghold.  Ps 18:2

Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the Lord our Maker; for He is our God and we are the people of His pasture, the flock under his care.  Ps 95:6-7

Father, how I love You.  Thank You that when I truly run and seek You - I find You.  Thank You that there is comfort in Your Word.  Thank You that Your Word is sharper than any two edged sword and Your Spirit wields it to refine me and change me.  I love that I can seek refuge in You.  I love that I can know Your ways by spending time with You.  I love that I have access to You through prayer, through the Word and above all by the Power of the Holy Spirit.  Thank You Father, Son, Holy Spirit!!

Forgetting The Past

I sit in awe right now.  This weekend the Lord reconnected a father and a son.  Across miles, across years, across many gaping valleys...  God did it the only way He could.  Miraculously.

A couple of months ago, my mother-in-law called.  She had news about her ex-husband, the father of my husband.  He'd been found.  For over eight years the family had no idea where he was.  The last time my husband had seen him was in early 2000.  There had been sightings of him by family, but for the most part he was a transient.  He had lived on the streets of Tulsa Oklahoma for over twenty years.  He was an alcoholic.  He lived in his car, on the street, wherever he could find a place to lay his head including shelters and churches.  Everyone had assumed he'd died out on the streets. 

But earlier this fall, my husband's cousin was taking his own mother to an area nursing home.  As they checked in, the admitting staff noted the last name was the same as another patient.  When asked, she revealed that it was a man and his name was Robert.  My husband's cousin had been looking for his uncle on behalf of the family for many years.  He gave his birthdate and other vital info.  It matched the other patients info exactly.  It was with joy that my husband's dad was found.  The calls to the rest of the family went out immediately.

My husband was surprised yet hesitant when he heard the news.  He was happy his dad was alive.  Yet, he was hesitant because it brought back many emotions and memories that he had long since buried.  He was the son of an abusive alcoholic.  From the time he was an infant, he'd suffered indescribable abuse as had his other brothers and his mother.  As an young adult, on and off my husband and his dad had a sort of relationship, but it had been full of drama and more pain and disappointment.  It had been two broken people trying to have a relationship but neither having a clue how to do so.

With the news, my husband thanked the Lord his dad was alive.  He prayed as well.  However, he did not feel inclined to rush to his dad's side.  We listened to the stories of the cousin and the other brothers making contact.  We found out that his dad suffered from severe Dimensia and was unaware of who his children were or even who his brother was.  We were saddened by the news.  The news triggered a lot of moments where my husband shared random memories.  But then the interest abated.

Last week, the Lord ministered to me to start writing on our book again (I am writing about our testimony and the faithfulness of God).  It was time for me to "interview" my husband.  I was ready to share his childhood stories and what had molded him and "taught" him.  I knew that the stories were drastically different from my own childhood.  We sat down to begin the interview.  He shared story after story.  I felt the flow of the Holy Spirit as he was speaking, particularly as he would end one story and begin the next.  Then we got to the hard parts - the beatings, the abuse, the pain and the moment when the state took him from his mother, growing up in a boy's home and the last time he saw his dad.

Then the Lord began to work on my husband's heart.  He turned to me and said, "we need to find out how he's doing."  We needed to make connection.  My husband isn't one to sit on his laurels.  We began the process of how to get in contact with his dad.  Connection was made.  We learned he actually is in stage 6 Alzheimer.  He didn't know my husband as his son.  He didn't remember how old he was, saying he believed he was around 38.  Some questions he completely knew the answer and was quite cognitive.  Others he did not know.  When my husband asked if he knew Jesus, he said he did.  When he asked to pray with him, he listened and he said Amen.  When my husband quoted scripture and talked about eternal life, his dad said Hallelujah.  He knew that Amen meant yes, yes, may it be so (or so be it!).  As the conversation was wrapping up, my husband's dad cried.  The nurses told my husband this was not typical behavior.  When I spoke with the social worker today, she said that crying was not a typical response for him and she agreed God was at work.

We are going to see him next Saturday.  We are taking him Oreos, some t-shirts and whatever else we feel led to take to him. 

When they had talked this past weekend, my husband had told his dad that he loved him and he forgave him.  Since then, my husband has cried many times.  He's cried for the state his dad is in.   He's also cried and grieved for the dad he never had.  I know God is at work.  First, my husband is not one to cry easily.  Second, I see the hand of our Lord all over this.  It is about restoration.  It is about looking at the past and breaking the curses of those days and choices and forgiving - letting go so God can move. 

Robert Wantland has forgotten his past.  It might not fully have been his choice, but it is not a memory in his head.  He doesn't remember those horrible incidents from his life.  He doesn't even remember the good moments.  We haven't asked him if he asked God to forgive him, and there is a huge possibility that if we did ask he couldn't answer us.  But my husband strongly believes he did.  He says that his dad had gone to church and read the Bible and prayed in those later years before they lost connection.  However, his dad's alcoholism and self-abuse were so strong and ruled his life.  Those demons and habits were something he was never able to break free from in all those years.  But God is bigger than even that.  For this man, Dimensia/Alzheimer is an escape from alcoholism and homelessness.  He's not drank in seven years and he's had a bed and care and food for those years.  When my husband asked about God, about Jesus - his dad responded with affirmative answers and understanding!  He didn't know who my husband was; he didn't know how he got where he was; he didn't even know his favorite drink or food; One thing he did know was - He knew JESUS!! 

My husband's tears and prayers aren't for the abuser or broken vessel that broke others, instead they are for the man God created, the man he almost lost and the man he is today.  My husband feels called to be there for him as much as he is able - to have a relationship with his dad - the man before him who the Lord reveals to him to be.

I know that I know this is part of God's restorative plan.  I know that I know that our lives, our children's lives and the lives of future generations as well as eternity is being impacted by what is occurring now.  I look forward to watching it all unfold and I believe with expectation that God is being glorified!!!

TJ and the Time Stumblers - Book 5 Switched

I do occasional book reviews for Tyndale.  We recently received a complimentary copy of Bill Myers' TJ and the Time Stumblers Book 5 - Switched.  The excitement in our house was tangible!!!  My kids loved the fact that we were getting the chance to review a book that is at their reading level.  My daughter was the first one to jump at reading it.  She is 12.  Just so happens her initials are TJ!!!  So she totally could relate to the character!  They had never read this series before. 

As Christians and homeschoolers, we are always looking for good reading materials outside of our school hours.  We generally lean towards biographical or living books.  But as with all kids, they continue to love a good fiction story that grips them and expands their imagination. 

My daughter, TJ, wanted to help write the review.  Then JJ, my 11 year old son wanted to share his thoughts as well while he is reading it. 

Bill Myers' book, TJ and the Time Stumblers Switched, in my opinion was one of the best books I have ever read.  I have so much in common with TJ.  Our names, brown hair color and I live in Missouri too.  She is thirteen and I'm almost thirteen.  Plus she is shy and if you met me you'd know that I am very shy too.  The only difference is that I don't have glasses and well, she is a character in a story book!  If they made a movie of this series, you'd could pretty much sign me up!

It was very creative this story that Bill Myers thought up, especially how they tried to solve their problems by "borrowing" the plutonium.  I love their creative last names.  My brother and I were really impressed by names like Mr. Hatemijob and Bruce Bruiseabone. The funny, funny part was when the jocks and nerds bodies were switched, even the marines and everyone. 

I laughed a lot throughout this book.  I would recommend this book to everyone.  I cannot wait for my cousin to read it next.

Eleven year old, JJ had some thoughts as well. 

My thoughts are that I love how Bill Myers used big letters to express action like "CRASH" and "rumble...rumble...rumble".  This made it more real.  And if I had to choose my favorite character it would be Herby because he is the crazy one that opened the Swiss Army knife that then shaved off TJ's hair.  My favorite part is where they stole the plutonium, especially because there were Marines in it and my dad was a Marine.  (I'd like to be a Marine myself someday).

As you can see, my two older children loved this book.  I found it to be a very cute book.  It definitely stretches the imagination.  I love though, how engrossed my children became with the storyline and the characters.  They already are asking when book six comes out.  They are also wanting to read the first four books!! 

The best part is that the content is completely appropriate for my tween children.  There were no real questionable parts to it.  Kudos to Mr. Myers on this fact.  I look forward to getting the complete series for my kids.